Well this could prove to be the longest week in my life! I managed to get to work yesterday and was there for a whole 10 seconds before I got the phone call to come home. It turns out to be the first contractions, categorised as "False Labour". Seems pretty real to me, and Alison is having difficulty getting used to things. I can't imagine the anxiety that the wife is going through at the moment, and I probably made things a hundred times worse this morning by stressing her out, said the wrong things and then went to work. Hopefully the trip back at lunchtime and the flowers helped. I'm 100% committed to all this, just had a bit of a panic! It's difficult to leave her at home at the moment when she's in discomfort, but the more I work now, the more use I'll be later (and the more holiday I'll save - which should help in the long run).
I'm trying to plough myself into work a bit to take my mind off things, but it's difficult. Everybody keeps asking how it's going and what happened yesterday. I'll start making stuff up soon just for my own personal amusement.
In my mind this "Early stage of labour" will go on forever and I'll just keep running home at the whim of the mother of my child, but in the back of my mind I know it'll probably happen quite soon and I don't feel at all calm about it, no matter what I'm outwardly showing. I don't feel prepared, even though I've gone through lists and books and everybody's advice (TIP: Don't listen to anyone, it'll just scare you). In some ways I want it to all happen now and be over in a day, mostly for Alison's sake so that it's quick and less painful, and in some part I'll be distracted by what's going on and just get on with it. It's more the anticipation that's scaring me, then the actual drama that's going to unfold.
I feel like a bit of a spare part at times, and don't feel useful (part of the problem this morning!) and I know that all Alison needs is a hug and some support, but I feel I should be doing something practical and it's out of my control. I guess that's what it boils down to, lack of control and the unknown future....
Anyway, time to cheer up, We're having a baby!
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